Seven Tips for a Smug Sunday

Important Note! “Smug Sunday” is not meant as professional advice; it’s simply my opinion based on what has worked for me.

Once again, it’s Sunday, but for me, it’s not a Smug Sunday.

The fact that it’s Sunday is not a surprise, of course; Sunday happens every week. What is a surprise, however (because my capacity for self-delusion is apparently boundless), is that once again, for probably the 500th Sunday in a row, I did not stick to the really simple commitments I made to myself last Sunday. And the Sunday before that, and the one before that…

Given this situation, what shouldn’t be a surprise to me is this:

1. The Fitbit “weight tracker” function reminds me that instead of losing a little more weight since last Sunday, I’ve gained a pound. How could this happen? And don’t you dare try to blame that innocent bacon. Or that amazing Greek food yesterday. Or that jug glass of wine on Friday. I mean, really, if you’re not having bacon, eating Greek food or drinking wine, are you even living?
2. My fruit and vegetable consumption for the week is probably in negative territory, if that’s even possible. Speaking of which, my “number of minutes spent exercising” is in a race to the bottom with the fruit and vegetable consumption.
3. We still have to go grocery shopping.
4. There are several other “Things You Should Do” that have still not made it to the “Things I Did This Week” list.

This is ridiculous! I’m a grown woman in control of my life! Aren’t I? Certainly, the mirror says “Grown Woman” when I look into it, that lying bitch.

These Sunday self-evaluations have become like New Year’s resolutions, except instead of disappointing myself annually, I’ve managed to make it a weekly occurrence.

This Week, Commit to Having a Smug Sunday Next Week

I’m stubborn, though, and determined. Once again, I’m going to recommit to having a better week.

Over the years, I’ve collected a few tips that I absolutely, positively know that I should follow, and I highly recommend that you do too. How do I know? Because on the (too rare) occasions when I do follow one or more of them, I feel better. I’m more productive. And, when Sunday rolls around, as it inevitably does, I get to be smug. And really, is there any better feeling than smug? When you think about it, smug is vastly underrated as an emotion. Sure, happiness is great; gratitude is good for our health, according to the myriad websites that tell us so (remember, if it’s on the internet, it must be true!). But smug – ahh, smug!

Dawne’s Seven Tips for a Smug Sunday

1. If you really want to lose weight, the absolute best way to do this is really simple: Write down every single thing you eat and drink. And I mean every.single.thing. Keep a little paper notebook, use an electronic device – the method doesn’t matter. Just pick something that you can easily do. For me, and I’ve done this for decades, this is the only thing that really works. Having the cold hard evidence of the crime scene of gluttony makes it much easier for me to stay on the wagon, and I’ve managed to successfully lose the weight, and keep it off, many times. Yeah, yeah, I know, roller coaster dieting. My problem is that once I lose the weight, I lose the “record your calories” habit too. Next time, I’ll do better. I’m really good at this (when I commit to it). After decades, I’m still using this little book – I find it faster and easier than doing it electronically. Plus, I get to take a stroll down memory lane on the more festive pages, like the alcohol one below.

2. Eat those fruits and vegetables! Not only does this help with #1, but you really will feel better. No, an apple doesn’t taste as good as a slice of pizza (and anyone who says it does is lying), but I definitely feel better after the apple. And it doesn’t taste terrible. Plus, I get to be smug. And eating seasonal fruits and vegetables is great. Present them in a pretty fashion, too – it helps. My two personal favorite fruits are blueberries and Rainier cherries, which I somehow managed to miss out on until several years ago, when I got brave and tried one at a friend’s house. They’re amazing! Here they are, in a pretty, simple white bowl. I swear they taste better out of this bowl.

3. My personal tip: Get your grocery shopping out of the way on Friday night or Saturday. Really, who wants to deal with this on a Sunday? You could also use one of the myriad grocery shopping apps, or sign up for regular delivery from an online service; we’ve done both, but went back to old-school physical shopping. I find that I’m more willing to try new (healthy!) things when they’re right in front of my face. Plus, my Fitbit (and my body!) likes it better when I get those steps in, rather than sitting on my ass typing an order into the computer. And yeah, whatever – I could use that time to get fun physical exercise instead. Go right ahead; you’ll probably add to your Smugness Quotient.

4. This week, make your bed every day! We’ve been (mostly) doing this for about a year, and I swear the whole day goes better. Every time I walk into the bedroom and see that pretty bed, it puts a smile on my face. For more about this, check out Good Housekeeping’s “6 Reasons You Should Make Your Bed Every Day“.

5. Every day, take three five-minute walks. If you have a dog, take the dog with you. You’ll both feel better and, for me, I get better ideas when I change my physical environment, even for five minutes. Don’t tell me you don’t have five minutes! You do.

6. Every night, make a pitcher of Sassy Water. It’s surprisingly good and, again, there’s that “feel better” thing. Plus the Smug thing.

7. Do the dishes every single night before you go to bed. Unless you’re running a catering business (or have teenagers, which is kind of the same thing), this will take less than five minutes. And trust me, waking up and walking into that kitchen to see a clean sink feels great, and also ups your Smugness Quotient. You can read more about this here or here.

Birds will sing. Harps will play. And that Grown Woman in the Mirror will finally reflect who you really are.

As I look back on this past week and resolve to do better, I up my Smug Quotient a little bit when I realize that, on the bright side, at least I didn’t host a yard sale.⧉