Words and Phrases I Hate, Part 1

Today’s Monday. My feed is full of those ridiculous “positive affirmations,” alliterations of encouraging words that precede “Monday” in the endless hashtags. Bah! Let’s tell the truth – we’re all miserable. In the spirit of owning this “Monday Malice”, here’s a fun list of words and phrases I hate (it’s called “Part 1” because there’s a guaranteed sequel here). And don’t start with the “but ‘hate’ is such a strong word!” nonsense. Words are not defenseless; in fact, they’re some of the most powerful weapons we have. Trust me, they’re eminently capable of defending themselves. Besides, if you’ve read my “About Me” page, you’ve been warned.

Update: I guaranteed a sequel, and here it is!

Monday Malice: Words and Phrases That Should Be Stricken from Our Vocabularies

• Awesome sauce Please! Is “awesome” edible? I rest my case.
• Curated Let’s all put this word back into museum collections, where it belongs.
• Hipster Actually, I don’t hate the word. I hate hipsters.
• Kicks Was “shoes” too hard to say?
• Unpack Really, are your brains in a suitcase?
• Vibrant New code for “dangerous neighborhood that we’re trying to convince you to move to and gentrify, so we can kick out all the hardworking people (which, really, make up 99% of the neighborhood) who have lived here forever.
• You do you This sounds vaguely like another term, one with four syllables. If you accept its actual intended meaning, that might be even dumber. I mean, who else are you going to be?

Words and phrases I love. Note how much shorter this list is:

• Bougie So much fun to say. Plus, it’s the only French-sounding word that most Americans can pronounce without sounding like we’re in seventh-grade Spanish class. I wish I’d come up with this.

If you’ve got words and phrases you hate, let me know in a comment. May you do you today, and have a vibrant day topped off with awesome sauce! ⧉